Floyd the barber

Floyd has been busy again this week. Quitting cycling and then calling for legalized, controlled doping as he seems to think cycling will never be clean, ever. We here at the Wagon like our riders to be racing sober and like our orange juice: free from artificial enhancements. We all know the Floyd story, and his protestations of innocence for years afterwards, which quite rightly has left him with "zero credibility". But we also know that Floyd was a pro cyclist from '99-'06, including being on the same squad as Armstrong. So he knows the finer details of doping, how it gets done and who did it. So why are we not to believe him? He might well be bitter but then he has the right to, if he is telling the truth about Armstrong. Whose yellow bands do we wear? That's right, they don't have any Landis wordplay on them, do they? We'd be pissed if we got caught doing something once that someone else did 7 times consecutively and was almost beatified along the way.

Stronger than Landis' allegations is the confession of another former pro, Bernard Kohl.He himself was caught after finishing 3rd in the 2008 Tdf, and has since quit professional cycling. Hearing him talk with honesty and without malice, it seems we should be very worried about the professional peloton, even now. Kohl admitted he was doping and passing the drug testing controls, this isn't shocking but it is disappointing that cheats cannot be caught and punished. Kohl claimed that the TDF "wasn't winnable without doping" and that he passed "99 out of 100" drugs tests before getting caught. Now that does sober us up. We've been trying to think about ways to beat doping in cycling, and this is our best pitch:

Why doesn't the UCI have a doping amnesty for riders willing to admit to doping? Not just an amnesty, but set up a prize fund too, for information leading to prosecutions and imprisonments for those who facilitate the dirty deeds. In terms of an amnesty we'd like to see riders coming clean, and with that would come no ban providing they signed some form of contract promising never to dope again. If they did dope again (detected by more rigorous hair, blood and urine testing as per the just signed contract) then a lifetime ban from racing and a lifetime ban from being involved in the professional organisation of the sport in any way. We'd like to see public floggings too, but we won't. If doping is as endemic as it seems, this could seriously help restore faith public faith in racing once again. Not only public, but faith from those people like us who love the sport and pay our monies to watch the racing and wear the jerseys of our heroes. This would give our heroes the chance to clean up the sport once and for all. We only this weeks have had more suspicions aroused by a DS referring a rider to a doctor with links to doping (who also worked for the US Postal team, LA era.

Going back to Armstrong. Again, it is well documented about how people have tried taking him to court in the past and how thus far he has always managed to come out intact, but mainly through out of court settlements binding the none Armstrong legal team from commenting on anything regarding the case , which doesn't do much in allaying suspicions of Armstrong guilt, and if anyone has the money and legal team to win court cases, it is Armstrong (and of course OJ Simpson)

Currently we await the outcome of Contrador's sanctioning by the Spanish Cycling Federation. We acknowledge the traces of clenbuterol were incredibly minute, but what about the reports of plasticizers, possibly from blood transfusions, being present too? You also probably know there isn't yet an approved test for these things, but now there are samples of the blood and urine in a lab somewhere so when the test is approved then guilt or not may be proven. But they we have another pitfall of loving cycle racing. We cheer the winners and respect their achievements only to be slapped in the face months or years down the line when the cheating is discovered. Anger, frustration, and maybe disbelief but not any longer. Its coming to be expected. If Armstrong and Alberto are proven as doping cheats, that leaves us with possibility that 9 out of the last 11 tours having been 'won' by riders using illegal substances. Maybe its time to listen to Floyd just one more time?

Sports Illustrated vs Lance Armstrong, Floyd vs Floyd.

Where do we start? How about you read the full article to be published in Sports Illustrated on the 24th Jan HERE. Unless you've been hiding under Cadel Evans chin chances are you're already au fait with what it says anyway.

You know here at the Wagon we take a very dim view of doping in cycling (and other sports) and we also admire Lance for his remarkable TDF successes; we don't think there is anyone not aware of his cancer beating and conquering past and future quests, and how 28 million people now wear a yellow rubber band at the bottom of their arms. So to the article.

Landis, my oh my. Yet more accusations and lawsuits. The man who had everything and who now has nothing. At all. No friends in cycling, no wife whose shoulders must have been sodden by his tears of regret (for getting caught, and before she left him, obviously) no credibility, not many more loose screws to fall out of his head. We've talked about him before so we'll try not to bore you, or us, with too much more about him, but unfortunately it is relevant. Lets have a quote from SI:

After Armstrong's cancer diagnosis, former teammates say, even Ferrari questioned his methods. "I remember when we were on a training ride in 2002, Lance told me that Ferrari had been paranoid that he had helped cause the cancer and became more conservative after that," says Landis.

Hang on a minute, Roid. Are you saying that Lance gave himself testicular cancer, that almost killed him, by taking too many banned substances? That is beyond the pale, really. Just imagine that. LA, heralded as the man who beat cancer before going on to conquer the TDF, gave himself the disease because he was cheating at the sport he went on to rule. This is more ridiculous than the plot of Inception. Roid needs serious help. It is obvious to any sane person that anything that comes out of his arse mouth holds less credibility than the chances of the Ricco family medicine cabinet only holding paracetamol.

Elsewhere in the article it is alleged that Lance took HemAssist, an EPO like blood booster but without the blood thickening EPO causes. This is a drug that was under research and never produced commercially. Why wasn't it released to the world? Because it failed in its purpose of helping people who needed transfusions. So how could Lance take this? It is feasible he took it, but who knows if it had a marked effect on his performance? Maybe this drug has the PowerBand placebo effect. Whilst we here like to believe LA is innocent until proven guilty, it isn't beyond our capabilities to see how he might have been taking substances to aid his pedalling that he shouldn't have taken. Drugs testing is all well and good when you know what to look for, but it unless you know what to test for then its also pretty useless.


Another point worth talking about is the list of banned substances allegedly spoken of to two doctors by LA, in a room with quite a few people in it. If this really happened, as the Andreus claimed under oath, then why not find the doctors who LA told and ask them about it? Check the medical notes. We know there are issues with patient confidentiality but if LA is innocent then lets see the evidence to support that too.

We here at the Wagon realise that with the amassing volume of dirt being flung LA's direction, it is unlikely the great unwashed will ever really understand the sport we love. To most, cycling is and always will be sullied by crimes committed and alleged in the past. And then we have the vultures, who love to see a hero downed. If LA is found to have taken illegal substances then many people will smugly proclaim they knew it all along, blah. If he is found innocent of all allegations against him, we think he'll never be quite able to wipe all that dirt off his impervious Texan face. Shame. 

Prince Albert and two more pricks

It’s been a busy few days in the cycling world, what with one thing and another, and in all the hubbub it’s easy to miss little snippets of information as they come out. Fortunately though, your intrepid seekers of truth and justice here at ‘wagon towers rarely miss a trick, and like to keep our fingers in as many pies as possible. As a result there are a few doping (yes…sorry to keep banging on about it, but it is wrong!) related stories that we feel need discussing.

Firstly, the fable of ‘Prince Alberto and the Septic Steak’. News is emerging today that the Spanish Cycling Federation (herein referred to as SCF) will be waiting a further three weeks before deciding whether Alberto is guilty or not, and whether they will be issuing a suspension. This comes on the back of a statement from an un-named UCI member saying that he expects Contador to receive a two year ban.  Now, we’re all for due process and fair trial but this whole situation seems to have been mismanaged from the start (evidence of clenbuterol abuse surfaced DURING the tour…so why was he allowed to continue riding?). The fact that the SCF are dragging their heels over this can be interpreted two ways:

• 1)    Contador IS NOT guilty and the long wait is due to a desperate scramble around for any evidence that can be used against him – unlikely.

• 2)    Contador IS guilty and, in the wake of  Valverde’s doping scandal, the SCF are desperately trying to put some form of damage limitation in place for Contador, the Spanish Cycling Federation, Spanish cycling….or all three.

It’s up to each individual to draw their own conclusions, but the evidence certainly seems ominous for the Spaniard.

Moving swiftly on, and we come to everyone’s favourite nauseating little weasel Riccardo Ricco, who, it seems, has been claiming (to anyone foolhardy enough to listen to him) that it is possible to win the Giro d’Italia without doping, and what’s more, he’s going to prove it. Firstly, how on Earth Ricco would actually know anything about dope-free riding is beyond us as, by all accounts, he’s been a shameless and unrepentant substance abuser since his early amateur days. He’s miraculously changed his ways of late though. Funny what getting caught does to you, eh? Secondly (and this hardly bears thinking about), but if…IF by some despicable twist of fate Ricco did win the Giro without doping, we here at the ‘wagon think we speak for the silent majority when we say it’d be just unbearable as a spectacle. Again, we’ve nothing against giving people a second chance, but only if they’ve earned it – Ivan Basso, as a prime example. But Ricco hasn’t earned it. At all.

Lastly, but by no means least, we come to professional cycling’s very own pantomime villain: Floyd Landis. Yes, he’s back in the news again, this time with the outrageous (and not at all ironic) claims that doping should be legalised. So, the man who had everything, then lost it all, then conned his fans out of thousands and thousands of dollars, then lied in court under oath (let’s not forget this is a man from a very religious background), then lost everything again, then tried to claw back some credibility by accusing all and sundry of being drug-cheats, is now saying that because doping is rife and out of control, it should be legalised. Outstanding, Floyd, what a class act you really are. Cycling may very well be in a bad way at the moment, but to give up the fight and accept it as our lot? With that kind of defeatist attitude it’s no wonder he had to cheat in order to win….

Stage 1 to Gossy Gossy Gander and bye bye Roid.

When, will I, will I be famous? Matt Goss can answer that with his legs. Very soon. Four wins in two weeks now for Cav's teammate, but where was Greipel? 4 Seconds back. A looong time at a sprint finish. Goss shouldn't have too many worries about being cold during tomorrows stage, he'll be wearing at least 3 jerseys the greedy devil.

How about those new Euskaltel helmets then? Very snazzy. When viewed from above, which will be mostly never, they reminded us of something Munch might paint. Have to say during todays break away how old fashioned the Euskaltel bikes looked too. Shallow dish rims, skinny tubing. Like being back in the 80's.

Best hair in the peloton? Obviously goes to Matty Perget. Such lavish, luscious flowing locks. Aaaaah. Now Pellizotti's cut his mane off this is the bonce to watch we reckon.

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It seems Roid Landis has finally accepted he is hated by so many people that he can't find a job, and doesnt want to race anymore anyway. Boo hoo. His drug cheating was so bad he couldn't get into the now defunct pro-cycling rehab team that was Rock Racing. Bye bye.